Just Lose It
by shadowblade-tara
Summary: A series of humorous oneshots inspired by funny songs. SessKag related. Rating for odd themes and overall crackness.
1. Just Lose It

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any of the characters I used in this one-shot.

AN: Yeah, I should be updating my other stories, but heck, this came to mind while I was listening to the song. Not a songfic, but you really should listen to the song while you read it. It'll show you just what kind of mood I was in when I wrote this.

**Just Lose It**

She hated prom. She let her boyfriend talk her into coming with him, even though she couldn't dance very well, and here she was standing next to the punch bowl while he danced with his ex. He hadn't even asked her if it was ok when Kikyou came and asked for a dance. He just left.

Kagome just shrugged. She hadn't really expected anything else from him, to be honest. In fact, Inuyasha had a really bad habit of always running back to Kikyou, even when Kagome was more than willing to spend the time with him. It made her wonder if she was nothing more than a way to make Kikyou jealous so she would come back to him. Figured that she would get played like that.

There was a pause between songs, and Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's older brother, appeared beside her. She smiled at him. "What's up, Sesshoumaru?"

He gave her a knowing look. "He's dancing with Kikyou, isn't he?" At her nod, he sighed. "I told him he was a fool. Kikyou could care less about him."

"I'm starting to feel the same way." Kagome muttered. "There's only so much of that one can take."

"I don't blame you." The music changed, a rap song that Kagome didn't recognize, but made Sesshoumaru's eyes light. "I love this song! Come on, you wanna dance with me?" Kagome gave him a look.

"You kidding? I can't dance!"

"Who told you that? Inuyasha? Come on, it'll be fun!"

Kagome sighed. "I don't really want to."

Sesshoumaru grinned. "Oh, I'll bet I can get you on the dance floor." He started swaying with the music, gaining some stares from the girls around him. Kagome had to admit, the boy could dance. "Come on. You know you want to."

Kagome laughed. "Is that supposed to be seductive?"

"Is it?"

"Try again."

He shrugged. "Sometimes you just gotta cut lose, you know? Not really worry about what anyone else thinks and just do what you want to. You ever reached that point?" He reached forward, grabbed her wrist, and spun her around to his chest. "Come on, I've been wanting to do this for a long time."

She pulled away. "I told you, I can't dance."

He smirked at her. "Listen to the song." he cajoled. He started chanting with the music, making Kagome laugh even harder. "I'm gonna make you dance, it's your chance, yeah girl, shake that ass."

"You're changing the lyrics." she teased, starting to move along with the music.

Sesshoumaru ignored her. "Alright, now lose it!" He grabbed her wrist again, and this time she didn't resist as he pulled her into the dance. He leaned up against her, whispering in her ear. "Just lose it for me."

/---/

On the other side of the dance floor, Kikyou and Inuyasha watched in growing surprise as Sesshoumaru and Kagome gave a rather interesting demonstration of dirty dancing. Kikyou chuckled. "I never thought Kagome of all people could cut loose like that." she commented.

"I didn't think Sesshoumaru would be the one to make her do it." Inuyasha muttered, a hint of jealousy in his voice. As the song ended, Sesshoumaru bent down and whispered something in Kagome's ear. The girl's face brightened as she nodded enthusiastically. Sesshoumaru took her hand and guided her to the door, walking right past Inuyasha and Kikyou on his way out.

"Oi! Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha called. "What do you think you're doing with Kagome?"

His brother simply grinned at him. "I'm just trying to unwind." he protested mildly. Kagome laughed and followed him as he left the dance floor. Inuyasha groaned.

"I'm not sure which is worse," he muttered, "seeing him on that kind of high, or knowing that it was a girl who put him there."

Kikyou just laughed at him.

/---/

AN: Yay! My first crackfic! (grins) Oh, the song is Just Lose It by Emenem. If you don't think its very funny, well, I have a different sense of humor than most. I just thought it would be hysterical to see Sesshoumaru sing that song! Review, please!


	2. Marie Laveau

AN: Two people asked for this to be made into a series. Well, the best I can do is continue with the theme that started it! (grins) Since this was the only song I could think of that's appropriately crack-ish, this is what you shall get. For now.

**Marie Laveau**

"You seem to be in an awfully perky mood." Sesshoumaru commented, studying Kagome intently. They were sitting on the front steps to the school, watching as Miroku tried to flirt with Kikyou. Kikyou wasn't taking it too well. Some people just had no sense of humor.

"I am!" Kagome said brightly. "Inuyasha broke up with me last night! Said if I was going to get laid with you behind his back, I could just forget it." Sesshoumaru started to scowl, intent on setting his brother straight once they got home, but her next words stopped him. "I told him I had every right to get laid with whomever I wished, especially if he was going to do it with Kikyou behind my back."

Sesshoumaru busted out laughing. "So _that's_ why he was so pissed when he got off the phone last night! Good one, Kagome!" Kagome grinned at him and bowed. Sesshoumaru patted her on the back. "Hey, what's with Kikyou?"

Kagome looked up and giggled. "Kikyou's a voodoo witch." she said solemnly. "She doesn't like it when people don't leave her alone."

"How do you go from liking solitude to being a witch?"

She flashed him a brilliant smile and started to sing, heedless of the students giving them odd looks. "Down in Louisiana where the black trees grow lives a voodoo lady named Marie Laveau. She's got a black cat tooth and a mojo bone, and anyone who wouldn't leave her alone, she'd go-"

The amusing song was interrupted by a loud shriek from Kikyou – apparently Miroku had succeeded in groping her – and a resounding thwack! as she slapped him hard enough to make him stagger back. Sesshoumaru, Kagome, and the few others who happened to be watching at the time, started laughing.

"Another man done gone." Kagome finished with a chuckle. Miroku staggered over to them, a bright gleam in his eyes. "Alright, pervert, was it worth it?"

He sighed in contentment. "Very."

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "You, my friend, will never learn."

"Oh, look!" Kagome said suddenly, laughter bright in her eyes. "Handsome Jack is about it get it!" She was pointing at Inuyasha, who was now talking earnestly with Kikyou for whatever reason. They were too far away to hear the words.

"I'm assuming Handsome Jack is from your song as well?" Sesshoumaru commented dryly. Miroku looked between the two, clearly confused.

"What song?"

"Marie Laveau."

"Oh, I love that song!"

"Sesshoumaru here has never heard of it."

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and ignored the two. Miroku was just flirting – Sesshoumaru just hoped he didn't try to grope Kagome. Kikyou may have slapped him, but Kagome would take his head off.

Inuyasha's words were now becoming frantic, as he leaned down and whispered something in Kikyou's ear. She finally relented and handed him a binder. Kagome giggled.

"That wasn't smart." she singsonged. Sesshoumaru gave her an odd look.

"Why?"

"Because he's going to go back on whatever promise he just made. Mark my words." She stood up, but not before giving both boys a quick hug. "I gotta get to class. See yah!"

Sesshoumaru waited until she was out of earshot to confront Miroku. "You didn't grope her?"

Miroku gave him an incredulous look. "Do I look like I'm stupid to you?"

/---/

The phone rang three times before Kagome picked up on it. "'Lo?"

"Kagome."

"Hey, Sesshoumaru. What's up?"

Sesshoumaru looked over at his brother, who was sporting a rather colorful bruise under his eye and looking for all the world like a little lost puppy. He started laughing.

"Another man done gone."


	3. Don't Give a Damn

AN: The next one in my crazy little series. This is by Avril Lavigne, by the way. (grins)

**I Don't Give a Damn**

Sesshoumaru couldn't believe it. He leaned against Kagome's front door, watching with narrowed eyes as Kagome and Inuyasha talked at the end of the driveway. Inuyasha's back was to him, but he could hear the "honest" pleading in his voice.

"Please, Kagome, I promise you I'll stand by you. I'll do whatever you want! Just please, return to me! I'm begging you!" He looked ready to get down on his hands and knees, and judging from the amused expression on Kagome's face, she was waiting for him to do just that.

"Would you really?" she asked dryly. "Personally, I think that would be a sight to see."

Inuyasha winced at her tone. She wasn't being cold or standoffish. Mirth shone in her eyes. His pathetic display was probably the funniest thing she'd seen since watching Cartoon Network the night before. And that was saying something considering the fact that Sesshoumaru and Miroku had been poking fun at everything that night.

"Come on, Kagome." Inuyasha begged. "Please, just give me one more chance!"

Kagome grinned. "Why?"

He glared at her. "You can't tell me you haven't been hurting." he snapped. "I didn't want to hurt you, Kikyou seduced me, and now I'm coming back, 'cause I don't want you to hurt anymore!"

"I'm rolling on the floor laughing my butt off." Kagome shot back. Her grin was a genuine smile. "You honestly think that you hurt me? It was a blessing when you called it off. If you hadn't, I would have."

"I don't believe you." Inuyasha said flatly. "In fact, I'll prove it." With that, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in surprise, even more so when he saw Kagome kiss him back. There was nothing passionate about it, even though Inuyasha was clearly trying to make it such. She pulled away and smiled at him.

"Go home, Inuyasha."

He looked surprised. "What? You didn't like it?"

She laughed then, a full-blown laugh, and Sesshoumaru was hard-pressed to hide his smirk. Inuyasha was in such deep trouble now.

"I only kissed you to say good-bye." she said with a smile. "Truth is, I don't give a damn." With that she walked back up the drive to where Sesshoumaru was waiting. She grinned at him. "Dang, I've wanted to do that for a while."

He laughed. "Remind me never to piss you off."

"Oh, I'm not pissed." Kagome said, leaning against his side. "Being pissed implies I care."

"And you don't?"

"Why would I cry over some stupid guy?"

He grinned. "Point taken."

/---/

AN: Ok, I don't know about you, but I fail to see the crack side of that. I think it's just funny. That song describes me to a t when it comes to boys, so I just had to write a story with it.

Oh, and am I the only one who thinks that Kagome would be so much better off if she would do this to Inuyasha in the manga? I mean, nothing against him or anything, but he'd make up his mind a whole heck of a lot faster if she did. (grins) Review, please!


	4. Temperature

AN: Yes! Another crackfic by the one and only! Sit back and enjoy this bit of insanity!

**Temperature**

It was another blasted party, this one hosted by none other than Kikyou herself.

It wasn't that Kagome hated Kikyou – the girl was just annoying. Then again, she was part of the reason Kagome was currently boyfriend-less. Still, Kagome did her best not to hold a grudge. It just made her tired.

As a matter of fact, Kagome could see quite a few people she knew in this crowd. There was Inuyasha, dancing with Kikyou; Miroku and Sango were also dancing together – though maybe not for long judging from the way Miroku's hand was wandering; Kouga, Ayame, and a few others.

As well as –

"Why are you always a wallflower in these events?" Sesshoumaru slid up next to Kagome, his eyes bright with excitement. It was clear he was enjoying himself. Kagome rolled her eyes.

"I've said it once, I'll say it again." she drawled. "I hate dancing."

"You did pretty good at the prom."

Kagome blushed. "I blame you. You bewitched me."

He grinned. "Shall I bewitch you again?" he teased. The music changed again, but judging from the look in his eyes, he had planned this. "Come on." he coaxed. "This song is great."

She rolled her eyes again. This was becoming a habit with him. "I'm frozen in place." she commented dryly.

Bad choice of words, especially when she started paying attention to the song.

"Well woman the way the time / cold I wanna be keeping you warm!" She groaned as Sesshoumaru started to sing once again. _This was how he got me on the dance floor last time, _she thought with begrudging amusement. She could already feel herself weakening.

Sesshoumaru put on his best Sean Paul voice and grabbed Kagome's hand, forcing her to dance with him in her corner. "I got the right temperature to shelter you from dis storm / oh lord gal I got the right tactics to turn you on / and girl I wanna be the papa you can be the mom oh oh!"

_Phooey_. She was dancing with him now, once again a brilliant dirty dance. He was guiding her away from the corner and into the center of the room, but she didn't realize it until it was too late to back out.

Besides, he wouldn't let her. At all times during their little "dance" Sesshoumaru had a pretty firm grip on her. He was determined this time.

It didn't last.

"HEY!" Inuyasha shouted, pushing himself between the two. "What is going on here?! Sesshoumaru, what the heck do you think you're doing?"

"Dancing, last time I checked." his brother said cockily. "This is a dance, is it not?"

"You're not dancing like that with my Kagome, you – "

Niether of them anticipated what happened next, though they should have. Kagome shoved Inuyasha, pushing him away and back into the crowd, and turned back to Sesshoumaru. This time she grabbed his hand and initiated the dance.

"I can dance however I want with whoever I want, Inuyasha." she snapped. "And I am not yours!"

"Yes you are!"

She turned to face him again, but this time Sesshoumaru stopped her. He grabbed her arm, spun her around, and kissed her.

Dead silence in the room.

When he finally had his fill of her, he broke it off and glanced at Inuyasha. "No, little brother. She's not yours."

Kagome smiled up at him, her eyes slightly glazed. _Well, guess I'm not boyfriend-less anymore._

/---/

AN: Ok, so not so much a crackfic as just cute. There is no time period to this, only that they happen in the order that I post them. So no jumping around. Review, please!


	5. Best Damn Thing

**The Best Damn Thing**

Sesshoumaru grinned as he watched Kagome dancing all on her own. It had taken him six dances – or maybe someone had spiked her drink – but at least she had overcome her fear of dancing in front of people. She was doing pretty good, too. There was a nice little crowd watching her while trying not to look too obvious about it. It was enough to make him laugh.

Inuyasha stalked over and sat down next to him, ignoring the glare Sesshoumaru was giving him. Normally the two brothers got along fairly well – until the topic turned to girls. That was when Sesshoumaru really wished they weren't related. Then he could wring his neck without having his dad try and kill him as well.

"What are you doing over here?" he asked warily. Inuyasha shrugged.

"I think Kikyou and Kagome have something planned." he muttered. "I'm staying out of the way."

Sesshoumaru smirked. "Wouldn't you want to leave the dance then?" he teased. "They have a remarkable habit of being able to find you in any crowd."

"Oh, shut up."

At that moment, all music ceased. The crowd paused for a moment, murmuring until Kikyou stood up on a chair to make herself known. "Excuse me!" she called out. "I would like to take this moment for a special presentation. Hit it, Kagome!"

Inuyasha paled. "Crap."

Kagome spun in a circle as the music started. Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Is that the song I think it is?" he demanded.

Sesshoumaru simply laughed. "It's accurate."

"_I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door / even though I told him yesterday and the day before / I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab / and I have to pull my money out and that looks bad!"_

That in and of itself earned a few cheers. Kikyou had an awfully smug look on her face. Wherever this was going, it was something these two had cooked up together, possibly even before the party had ever occurred. Sesshoumaru watched with interest.

"_Where are the hopes / where are the dreams / my Cinderella story scene / when do you think they'll finally see?_

_That you're not, not, not, gonna get any better / you won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me never / like it or not even though she's a lot like me / we're not the same!"_

That last bit seemed directed at Inuyasha, even though neither of the girls were even paying any attention to him. They were now singing together, ignorant to all the people standing around them.

Amazing how they could get along one minute, and be at each other's throats the next.

"_And yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a lot to handle / if you don't know trouble I'm a hell of a scandal / me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen / I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen!"_

Now it had his attention. Kagome was standing right in front of Sesshoumaru, grinning ear to ear as she held out her hand. "Let's blow this joint."

He grinned in return. "Agreed."

/---/

The night found them at the skate park, sitting off to the side on one of the benches while trying to regain their breath. Sesshoumaru snuck a glance at the girl. She was sweating, breathing hard, but smiling the entire time. It looked as if she had truly enjoyed herself.

Suddenly she turned to him with a laugh. "Who's up for round 2?"

He barked out a laugh, breathing hard himself. "What on earth are you?" he teased. He was no where _near_ ready for round two.

Kagome laughed and leaned over to kiss him, pulling back with a mischievous look in her eyes.

"I'm the best damn thing that you've ever seen."


End file.
